I Say a Little Prayer Read online

  “Chauncey, you didn’t,” Damien yelled.

  “I’m still taping,” I said.

  “Can we talk about this?”

  “You have a good night,” I said.

  “When will I hear from you again?” Damien asked.

  “When you least expect it,” I said as I hung up the phone with a smile as wide as the Mississippi Delta.

  I decided against another drink, so I turned off the lights and headed toward my bedroom. A peaceful tenderness had come over me, and I was thinking about what I was going to say to God when I got on my knees to pray.

  There was so much I wanted to ask for when the rest of my life started the next morning. But first I had to ask for forgiveness. For being gay? Naw, not that. For lying to a future U.S. senator about a taping that never happened.

  EPILOGUE

  Election Day came. The city felt unusually quiet on a brilliant, sun-washed day. I walked the three blocks from my home to the middle school where I voted. It was a beautiful pink-red building with cobblestone sidewalks surrounded by towering oak trees. I felt a nervous energy flooding through me as I walked into the building like it was the first time I’d voted. Somehow today felt different. Like I was going to be a part of something special and when I placed my ballot in the box I felt relief. No matter what happened I’d let my voice be heard. I told myself it was okay for me to keep my memories of Damien for myself and not become the activist Skylar wanted.

  I was finally ready for some me time and I was going to use it being the person God created me to be. A man who was happy with himself and who he was and happy with life.

  When I got to my office I was welcomed with the marvelous smell of food. Ms. Gladys had turned the outer office into a southern buffet. I looked at the table and saw fried chicken, collard greens, and potato salad. Ms. Gladys herself was taking a piping-hot waffle out of the waffle iron.

  “Good morning, Chauncey. I hope you’re hungry,” Ms. Gladys said.

  “I am, but what’s going on? Is it somebody’s birthday?” I asked.

  “Not really, but it is a special day,” she said.

  “What? Election Day?”

  “That, too, but today is a special day because the good Lord woke me up this morning, he woke you up, and I know he woke Celia up because we had prayer this morning over the phone. Now isn’t that something to celebrate?”

  “Yes, it is,” I said.

  “Today might be the day when one or all of us do or start something special that can change the world or somebody’s life,” she said. “Now I’m going to make you a plate and bring it into your office. You want pecans on your waffle?”

  “Yes, Ms. Gladys, I’d like that,” I said.

  When I sat down at my desk I thought about Ms. Gladys and what a gem she was. Then I noticed the card of one of the producers who’d offered to help produce my CD. I decided at that moment that I couldn’t wait or depend on some record company to come and sign me up. God had given me my talent but it was up to me to make it happen. Today was that day.

  Just as I picked up the phone and was getting ready to dial the number, Ms. Gladys walked in with a plate of delicious food. She put a placemat on my desk followed by the plate, and I noticed Ms. Gladys wearing a button that said, Vote Democratic.

  “Ms. Gladys, what’s that?” I asked as I pointed to the large red-and-white button.

  “Now, Chauncey, I know you can read,” Ms. Gladys said.

  “But what happened to what God and your minister wanted you to do?”

  “I think my minister was sending me the wrong signals, so I might be joining you at that little church of yours.”

  “So you had a change of heart?” I asked.

  “You could say that, but more than anything I got a message from above. Last night I had a dream. I dream all the time but I don’t always remember them. But this one was loud and clear. My husband asked me what was my fool behind doing voting for someone I didn’t believe in, and I don’t know if he meant the President or that minister of mine, so I’m kicking them both to the curb. My husband also told me that my sons were coming home soon, clean and sober, so I needed to get ready to be a mother again. I told him I was already being a mother to you and Celia.”

  “That’s right,” I said.

  “My mother was in the dream too, looking just as beautiful and feisty as ever. Guess what she said to me?”

  “What?” I asked.

  “If the shoes fit, they yours.”

  About the Author

  E. LYNN HARRIS

  I SAY A LITTLE PRAYER

  E. Lynn Harris is the author of the memoir What Becomes of the Brokenhearted and eight novels, including A Love of My Own, Just as I Am, and Any Way the Wind Blows; all were national bestsellers and each was named Novel of the Year by the Blackboard Bestsellers. His novel If This World Were Mine has received the James Baldwin Award for Literary Excellence. Harris divides his time between Atlanta, Georgia, and Fayetteville, Arkansas, where he is currently writer-in-residence and visiting professor at the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville. He is also a part-time cheer coach for the University of Arkansas Razorback Cheerleaders.

  www.elynnharris.com

  ALSO BY E. LYNN HARRIS

  Invisible Life

  Just As I Am

  And This Too Shall Pass

  If This World Were Mine

  Abide with Me

  Not a Day Goes By

  Any Way the Wind Blows

  A Love of My Own

  What Becomes of the Brokenhearted

  Acclaim for E. Lynn Harris and

  I SAY A LITTLE PRAYER

  “Thought-provoking, interesting and simply fun…. Mr. Harris captures our attention again.”

  —The Dallas Morning News

  “Breezy, big-hearted entertainment.”

  —Entertainment Weekly

  “Harris is a great storyteller who knows how to tug on the heartstrings with wit and sensitivity.”

  —USA Today

  “Delicious reading.”

  —The Seattle Times

  “Harris’s talent as a writer has increased with each of his books. His stories have become the toast of bookstores, reading groups, men, women, and gay and straight people.”

  —The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

  “Harris is a wonderful writer. His romantic scenes, whether between men and women, or men and men, are always touching.”

  —San Francisco Chronicle

  “[E. Lynn Harris] tucks in plot twists bound to keep his readers turning pages late at night.”

  —The Washington Post

  FIRST ANCHOR BOOKS EDITION, AUGUST 2007

  Copyright © 2006 by E. Lynn Harris

  All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Anchor Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York, and in Canada by Random House of Canada Limited, Toronto. Originally published in hardcover in the United States by Doubleday, an imprint of The Doubleday Broadway Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York, in 2006.

  Anchor Books and colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, Characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Lyrics by Gordon Chambers

  The Library of Congress has cataloged the Doubleday edition as follows:

  Harris, E. Lynn.

  I Say a little prayer : a novel / by E. Lynn Harris—1st ed.

  p. cm.

  1. African Americans—Fiction. 2. African American gays—Fiction. 3. African American Bisexuals—Fiction. 4. African American churches—Fiction.

  PS3558.A64438I17 2006

  813'.54—DC22 2005055452

  www.anchorbooks.com

  eISBN: 978-0-307-38758-5

  v3.0

  le Prayer